Rarely do I get the freedom to write without Trent McGee breathing down my keyboard, but since Trent is now across the pond finding his inner self, I now get the freedom to write non informative articles that 34 people read. So here is a shot at giving you some bathroom reading material over the break.
Everyone loves Christmas movies. Everyone accept all men and women. I think Christmas movies are overrated. Nobody would like these movies if it wasn’t for Christmas. The season makes these movies better than they really are. It’s like V8 juice. People who have walked miles in the Sahara would think V8 juice is amazing. V8 juice is not amazing. Their environment creates their desire.
So we have Christmas movies and a weird mixing of NCCAA Athletics.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas is the Women’s Soccer Season
Everyone all year was singing the praises of Lancaster Bible College. The nation was running around sending letters and email about how awesome LBC was, and Baptist looked on in anger. People would gather around websites and sing songs of jubilation in podcasts to LBC.
In fitting fashion Lancaster chooses to NOT go to the NCCAA title, and Baptist swooped in and stole the show. They paraded and demolished the teams at nationals, and they went home with the banner, but everyone still knows. Everyone knows that the spirit of the championship still goes to Lancaster. Manhattan played the part of Cindy Lou Who, they are small, put in a great performance, but the directors decided to leave her out of the last third of the movie.
It’s A Wonderful Life is the Men’s Soccer Season
Moody Bible Institute is a staple within the NCCAA DII men’s soccer archives. Moody has helped this athletic division to gain respect and admiration of many different schools. They have won titles in the past, but they have been M.I.A over the last few years. We have seen what the DII is like without Moody, and frankly it is not as good. When Moody is good, the men’s soccer season is better.
Moody comes back to Florida this year and wins in amazing fashion. Not to mention that after they win, I believe that everyone said, “They did it, they beat us, and we love that team.” Every time a bell rings the referee adds 5 minutes.
A Christmas Story is the Women’s Volleyball Season
This movie is appropriate, not because of the movie’s content, but because of the over-saturation of this movie. I think this movie is insufferably boring, and I believe that gives me something in common with the rest of humanity.
A Christmas Story was once interesting, but we have seen this script so many times we have lost interest. Here is the deal, until a team decides to give Clearwater a run at the title, I am not interested. Ok, that’s not true, I sure when the time comes I will be flipping through channels and think, “Oh! It’s ‘A Christmas Story’ maybe this time he actually will shoot his eye out.”
A Christmas Carol is the Men’s Basketball Season
This one should be pretty simple. Grace Bible College is Scrooge. They take all the wins and share nothing. They are hard-working, and methodical and they don’t care about your feelings. They want all banners and titles.
I am hoping that they are visited by three ghosts to help them to start being nicer:
- The Ghost of Christmas Past: Allen Durham comes to tell them you can’t do what you did before without me.
- The Ghost of Christmas Present: Latrell Alford comes to tell them that they are not allowed to take the 2011-2012 title. Sharing is caring.
- The Ghost of Christmas Future: Florida Christian College comes to let them know that there is a new star rising in the south, and it is a future of 6’6″ athletes running, jumping, and generally dunking a lot.
The Dark Knight Rises Trailer is the Women’s Basketball Season
It came out in Christmas and that is good enough for me. Kentucky Christian University looks historically awesome, and so does this movie. I know that is a prediction, but having seen the last movies, I can tell you that if the movie is half as good as those, it will be amazing. Bane is played by Trent McGee. I don’t know why that’s funny.
Conclusion:
We have finished the movie correlation experiment, and now I am convinced that these movies are not so bad now, I might have overreacted. I hoped to have worked in a few other movies, but couldn’t find a good correlation. I tried to have Baseball be National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, but I couldn’t find a good Cousin Eddy.
Well done. Merry Christmas. Enjoyed your soccer movies.
Very entertaining!